Like life, gardening too has its own set of phases that one passes through on their way to…(I was going to say “enlightenment” but I think the term should be “retirement” instead). Our enthusiasm and energy, in the early days, convince us that gardening is a contact sport and should be tackled like a 250-poind football player. But as we progress – and our bodies slow down – we begin to take a more refined view of our pastime and “smelling the roses” finally makes sense.

In this great article by Roger Marshall titled “The five stages of gardening”, Marshall draws some very close links to the stages we all go through. Here’s the stages, according to Roger;

Stage 1 – The Novice Gardener

At this stage you turn your yard into lawn and double-dig a vegetable patch using a garden fork, vowing to turn vegan and be fit all your life. You mow the lawn with a reel push mower because you want to stay fit. You let deer and wild animals take their share of your produce, because they have to eat, too. The newly planted privet hedge is only two feet high.

Stage 2 – The Adolescent Gardener

Stage two comes when you realize that mowing a lawn is hard work and needs to be done weekly so you buy a walk behind power mower. To cut down on mowing time you add a flower bed or two and mulch them heavily. After a year or two, all you do is refresh the mulch in spring. Your vegetable garden has expanded to include a cold frame to help you get crops in colder weather. By this time you’ve read Eliot Coleman and tried to figure out how to grow year round in Rhode Island. Your garden is now protected with a deer fence and your flowers get sprayed with Deer Off. The privet hedge is now four feet high and very thick.

Stage 3 – The Maturing Gardener

Stage three comes when you want to go on vacation and realize that your yard takes up way too much time, or when your job becomes all consuming and you are working in the yard before sunup and after you’ve finished work. You now have a heated greenhouse that allows you to garden all winter and to work under lights until bedtime. All your valuable plants are in the greenhouse because the dog you got to keep the deer away likes to pee on the plant pots. Inside the privet hedge, which is now eight feet high, you’ve put a chain link fence to keep the dog in and the deer out.

Stage 4 – The “The kids have all left home and we have money again” Gardener

Stage four comes when you buy a riding mower to cut the grass, a rototiller to dig the garden and you harvest the crops you can still reach. The flower garden becomes a wildflower garden that you mow at the end of summer (with the riding mower). The vegetable garden looks like Alcatraz to keep the deer and animals out and the dog is flopped by the fireplace, too tired to chase wildlife. The privet hedge has been removed leaving just the chain link fence.

Stage 5 – The Retired Gardener

Stage five occurs when you buy a condominium and relax on the lawn (that somebody else cuts), buy your vegetables (that somebody else grows) at the local farm stand, and keep a few flowers in a hanging basket. This allows you and your dog to lie in the lawn chair and watch the deer eat the next door neighbor’s garden.

Roger’s not too far from the mark, I suspect, and if I had to divulge my current gardening phase I would sit smack-bang in Stage 3. I just have to organise the greenhouse…

What about you?