It is hard not to seek approval. It is even harder for me to keep a perfect lawn and garden.

It is hard not to seek approval, but it is even harder for me to keep a perfect yard and garden. They will just have to take me as I am.

What a great question! Don't you think that when we set out plants in a new bed, or hang a showy basket or flower box that we're almost always "seeking the approval" of the neighbors, or at least hoping for an approving nod of the head? I think in most instances, though we all surely plant what pleases *us* and those who share our homes, we garden with the neighbors and other onlookers in mind. Otherwise, we'd all hang our flower boxes on the *inside* of our balcony railings, wouldn't we? :-) Great food for thought, Stuart, and I look forward to hearing from others point of view.

I was drawn to read this post because it touches on one of my 'bug-bears'.

I truly believe a garden should be for the pleasure and use of the person who gardens it and for the people they invite into it.

Others may like it or not - but it is nothing to do with them how you use your space.

If you have children and dogs and want a bare patch for them to play in - no-one should criticise.

If you want to store your rubbish in your garden, you should feel free to do unless it causes a health hazard.

Gardening is not a competitive sport.

In Britain, we have a thing called 'Britain in Bloom' where judges go round inspecting towns and villages for their public spaces and gardens. Hanging baskets and boring flat green lawns abound and there is pressure to 'conform'.

I am absolutely certain people should respect each other simply because they are people and not pay attention to how they care for their gardens or decorate their homes or arange their stamp collections.

If you are a specialist grower, that's different.

Nor is this to say I am not impressed by wonderful gardens and the clever and knowledgable and industrious people who create them.

But choosing to judge people by their gardens . . . No! To look over your shoulder, wondering what other people may be thinking? No!

Being pleased if other people are happy and relaxed and interested and . . . all sorts of other nice things when they come into your garden . . . well, of course.

Lucy
PICTURES JUST PICTURES

Deb - love your garden and hanks for the comment.

Nancy - I'm glad you enjoyed the question. Ditto, I too am looking forward to seom good responses re: this question.

Lucy - Have you NEVER thoughts about other people's responses when it comes to your plantings? I agree, it isn't a competition but it certainly would be a little peculiar if we never considered others views and opinions in our expression.

At the end of the day, our style and choices are our own and some people will never like them. You can't please everybody but to some level there must be consideration of others preferences - surely?

Not a lot!

I think of the needs and likes and desires of the people who use a garden - not of those who are simply going to look at it. If visitors like it, of course I am pleased - but that's not the thinking behind it.

I think of the creatures who are going to live in it too.

If I had a garden open to the public and earned a living from it . . . then I would have to approach things differently.

My dream is one day to have a really huge garden and to take it over as a wilderness so I wouldn't have to worry about changing something previous owners had put their heart into. But it has truly never struck me before that I would take into account the opinions of anyone else . . . except, as I say, the people who would be sharing it with me.

(And I think, even then, I would be disconcerted if they wanted to offer too much 'input'!)

To some extent, I suppose, I see a garden as a kind of retreat . . . a place away from the demands and expectations of the world.

(You can tell - I'm an anti-social sort!)

Lucy

Sorry to keep coming back at this - but I keep mulling it over.

When I think of gardens I know, both through Blotanical and in 'real' life . . . there are some I think are absolutely wonderful and some which make me wince even though it's clear their 'owners' have put an enormous amount of care and effort and thought and love into them.

It will be the same for everyone.

So, if we know we don't like all gardens it's obvious not everyone will like ours, however hard we try to 'please'. Even at our best, we are only making judgments according to our own tastes . . . which won't be everyone's . . . so why not simply go with what makes us content . . . and those who like our gardens will like them and those who don't . . . well won't . . . and what will it matter either way?

It's like with the insides of our homes. We may try to make them welcoming and friendly places for other people to come into but we wouldn't dream of making them conform to what we think others would like to see . . . I mean, they've got their own homes to go to!

Lucy

We've found that our neighbors respect our garden because of what it is and where it is. We have an organic veggie garden in the back patio area of our townhouse. Not just our immediate neighbors but our larger community have shown a great deal of respect for what we are doing and why we do it.

We really believe respect from others comes from the conviction and passion you show for what you are doing.

Then again, maybe they just respect us because we are kilt-wearing, Shiba Inu loving, extreme-gardening freaks??? LOL maybe...

Stuart, I live where many people obsessively mow, edge, weed & feed their lawns, cut their shrubs into cubes and call native plants "weeds".

Why the heck would I want the approval of people like that?

But if another Austin Garden Blogger, or the Divas of the Dirt or Soul of the Garden's Tom Spencer were to come here, their approval would count bigtime.

Annie at the Transplantable Rose