1. The more it gets working, the more it begins to smell
2. Long periods of sitting around doing nothing are parenthesized by short bursts of activity
3. It devours seemingly non-edible foodstuffs with inanimate ease
4. Just when you think it looks HOT it lets off gas
5. It needs to be turned and prodded to get it working
6. It's preferred habitat is outdoors and within close proximity to the shed
7. Worms and bugs crawling all over it doesn't seem to bother it - in fact, it seems to attract them
8. No matter how much you water it, it still stinks!
9. If you spread it too thin it has very little benefit
10. However, it does keep getting better with age

For those who were looking for something a little more related to compost (ie. serious stuff!) then you could check out some of my past posts on how to compost, a review of the humble compost tumbler or how to make compost bins.

This was just a little fun. Hope you got a giggle from it...