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I'm not sure why TV programs like Ground Force, Better Gardens and Backyard Blitz ever return to their garden makeovers - but I'm sure glad they do. It's like watching a dog return to its vomit, checking it over to see why it escaped in the first place and then casually lapping it up as though it were a brand new meal.
If the viewing public never saw this screening we would all assume that the fairytale gardens that were designed months previously were still being enjoyed by the lucky families. Every day they would wake to count their blessings basking in their backyard fortuitousness.
Alas, nothing could be further from the truth.
I don't know what the real statistics are for the success of these garden makeovers but I could surmise that more than 90% of them fail. (*By failure I'm suggesting that they no longer look as neat and sharp as they did when the TV crews left). The pebbles are now scattered throughout the postage stamp lawn, the cordylines have taken over and the standard flowering specimens are little more than stumps with a few twigs - and they weren't deciduous.
So, why do TV garden makeovers fail? Surely they should have the greatest chance at success than what us amateur gardeners could put together.
Apart from the reasons Andy Sturgeon gives in Exploding the Makeover Myth, here are some thoughts on why I think they inevitably fail.
If they were gardeners, there's no way they would allow these TV crews to even enter their property apart from showcasing their garden in a respectable gardening documentary. Gardeners don't want someone to do it for them. They want to take risks, experiment and fail their way to a successful garden without a horticulturalist overseeing their every move.
Gardens take years to grow. YEARS! What just happened in the last hour on TV was nothing more than a few plants being unceremoniously plonked in the ground and a water feature erected to constantly remind you of your need for the toilet.
That is NOT a garden!
And all that's left is the poor little homeowner to make head and tail of this garden.
It would be the same as handing over a professional blog template with all the bells and whistles to a person with no understanding of HTML. It's all good until something goes wrong and suddenly you face this mammoth task of trying fix this thing for which you have limited understanding. In the end it all gets too hard and you throw up your hands in despair.
As a gardener, I enjoy these shows for the inspiration they provide - but that's where the love affair ends. While the viewing public exalts the generous TV stations, I always view them as an unattached 16 year old dealing with a brand baby. Now what?
Comments
Once again, you and I are in agreement, especially on the point that most people want A garden, they don't want TO garden, and that's why makeovers fail. I don't think it's a mere coincidence that the camera crews never go back to film the progress of the garden :-)
Good to have you back. I hope you had a relaxing vacation.
Oh....very vivid dog vomit description. Very, very vivid.....
Posted by: Colleen | October 15, 2007 8:10 AM
I'm with you too, Stuart, although I've never seen one of these makeover programs...I can hear the poor plants crying from here...."Help me....Help MEEEEEEE."
Is it just a case of wanting to get some freebie stuff and that Warholian 'fifteen minutes of fame' that prompt such people to get into these makeover shows, do you suppose?
Posted by: jodi | October 15, 2007 8:36 AM
The ones done to improve a homes resale value a week before an auction do help raise the homes value.
Well that and the price jump that occurs due to appeal of a home thats just appeared on TV.
Just hope that the new owners might have some garden noucne to keep the garden up
Posted by: Bare Bones Gardener | October 15, 2007 9:34 AM
Fantastic post Stuart. Growing up I loved these shows because it actually made me think 'that's an easy way to get a garden'. However, as I grew up and matured (and am discovering even more so now that I run a gardening business) I realised just 'planting' a beautiful garden does not make a long term beautiful garden, that takes a lot more work!
Posted by: James M | October 15, 2007 1:42 PM
Colleen - glad you enjoyed the descriptive overtones. I juts hope you weren't reading it over dinner. BTW...it's good to be back.
jodi - I think you're right re: the "15 minutes of fame" thing. However, if you read Sturgeon's article I'm sure you would realise that these people get much more than they bargained for. Even they understand that it's not worth it.
Bare Bones - Improved Garden vs TV Appearance? I'm sure the latter wins in most occassions.
James M - thanks for the comment. It's great that you're back from hols as well.
Posted by: Stuart | October 15, 2007 8:04 PM
I'd be happy for them to come and do mine - I'd gladly maintain it after they left and lovingly care for it!
And I agree, your descriptions certainly work on the imagination!
Posted by: Kathie Thomas, A Claytons Secretary | October 16, 2007 8:59 AM
Unfortunately we are seeing homeowners here hire "teams of people" - nothing to do with landscapers - to create just such "gardens" so that there's a minimum of input required from the planning through to maintenance. And it looks it.
Victoria used to be called the Garden State, but that's disappearing.
Posted by: Val | October 18, 2007 6:22 AM