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21st century gardening jargon explained

old machinery.jpg
I agree with Elizabeth.

However, I believe that there are a few new gardening words that should be added to the dictionary starting with these ones;

gno·ming [no-ming]
verb
1. the act of making your garden look ridiculous by adding stupid looking creatures with dumb looks on their faces.
Sentence Use: My creatively challenged neighbour has begun gnoming his garden.

ga·ran-ting [guh-ran-ting]
verb
1. the act of sharing with the world your views on how others should, or shouldn't, garden.
Sentence Use: One blogger in particular, is often garanting about people who use gnomes as garden ornaments

gar-den-war-ming [garr-denn-wor-ming]
verb
1. the art of making your garden an ecological death spot by continuing with the use of pesticides and herbacides that affect our environment even though so much evidence has awakened us from this archaic activity
Sentence Use: Gardenwarming contributes lots of yucky stuff to our already yucky environment

wa-ter-stuff-ing [wor-tah-star-fing]
verb
1. the act of cramming water features into a very confined garden in order to keep up with trends that have been created by Home Depot advertising
Sentence Use: Our waterstuffing continued last weekend as we added our fifth water ball to our tiny balcony. We still have two more on order.

bal-zing [borl-zing]
verb
1. the art of adding gazing balls, which look ridiculous, to a landscape that once looked great
Sentence Use: My grandmother found herself balzing her garden up.

I'm sure there are many more that need to be added but if we can work with these few then I'm sure gardeners will understand their meanings and correct usage over time.



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Comments

These are great, Stuart :-) I'm a frequent "garanter" myself....

Me too. But I guess you already worked that out - lol!!

I might be guilty of the water stuffing.

And for gnoming, I hope you have seen this post:

The picture is all that you need to see: http://martagon.blogspot.com/2006/08/garden-stuff-part-i.html

GB and its more recent colonies really far surpass the US on this.

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