I’ve been trying to lay low for the past couple months and stay out of the media glare. But when you’re running a popular blog that every celebrity Tom, Dick and Harry wants to be interviewed on, inevitably it all comes unstuck.

This was the case when I went to hear a speech by the presidential candidate Hilary Clinton. Someone had tipped her off that I would be attending and it didn’t take her long to recognise my face in the crowd. Thanks Val.

So, after some polite banter and the formalities were over I agreed to interview her here on Gardening Tips ‘n’ Ideas.

Before I commence the interview let me first make a disclaimer. This interview in no way, shape or form agrees with Mrs Clinton’s political views. Heck, I live in Australia – what do I care!

Here’s the interview;

GTNI: There was a lot of discussion surrounding the bust that was sculpted from your profile. Some said that it made you look too sexy. Others justified it as being a picture of a powerful woman. And while that debate has raged, it’s been reported you’ve been quite opportunistic and formulated a deal with Home Depot to start a new garden sculpture range.
Hilary: Yes, that’s true.
GTNI: Do you really think consumers are ready to have a ‘Hilary Bust’ sculpture in their gardens yet?
Hilary: Oh, sure. The timing’s perfect really. People are tired of garden gnomes and need something else to embellish their boring flowers and plants. The designers…(laughing) even joked about putting my bust on a little Buddha’s body for those tropical gardeners down south. That would be funny, wouldn’t it?
GTNI: Hilarious, I’m sure. Now back to your gardening exploits. How did you react when you heard the news that your petunias had all been trampled by CIA agents on a training exercise.

Hilary: I think I took it quite well – considering. The CIA are a great organisation and what’s my little garden in the scheme of security for the world’s greatest nation? I’m going to replant them with marigold’s anyway – they should be able to see bright orange next time they train in my backyard.
GTNI: Hilary, when the opinion polls were showing voters preferences some of your advisers were recommending that you go after the Big Apple. Do you feel that you have achieved that?

Hilary: Emphatically, ‘Yes’. I love apples and the bigger the better. To think that my advisers were doubting I could pull it off! It just goes to show…
GTNI: Show what?
Hilary: As I was saying, it just goes to show what a gardener I am. I don’t think voters have a problem with my policies, they’re basically the same as Bill’s anyway. I believe the American public is more interested in global warming and whether they’re Zone 4 garden is going to be a Zone 2 before I quit politics.

GTNI: And how do you propose to change that?
Hilary: Well…I’m planning to rent Al’s “An Inconvenient Truth” this weekend which should get me on the same page. Then, I’m going to start closing down golf courses – do we really need all that lawn?

GTNI: And you think voters are going to be happy with this?
Hilary: Of course. People are tired with the expectation of having to grow a lawn and golf courses are just perpetuating that expectation. People should grow more water wise plants anyway.
GTNI: On that note, we might have to leave our interview there and cross over to our sponsor “Tiger Woods Office Putt-Putt.” Thank you Hilary.
Hilary: My pleasure and I hope your readers can lessen global warming with their gardening practices as well.