how to gardening blog
How would I know? Do I look like someone who’s built a blog as big as Boing Boing?

Never fear. Lack of experience is not about to stop yours truly. Nobody reached Everest’s summit until Hilary and Tenzing decided to go for a walk and someone needs to put gardening blogs on the map. Who better to do that than…alright, I’ll do it! I’ll give it a shot anyhow…

As I sat scratching the dandruff from amongst my hair follicles, I felt led to enlighten the world that gardening is not only a non-spectator sport, it’s a game the whole family can play. My friends had all started their own blogs, or were major comment contributors to some of the big names, and when I told them that I too would start my own many a cheer was heard…until I told them that GARDENING was going to be my theme!

“Gardening?” “Who’s gonna read a friggin gardening blog?”…well, gardener’s of course!

Gardening is one hobby that nearly everybody on this planet has been involved with in some form or another. Maybe your mother regularly cut roses to freshen a room, or you bought your girlfriend a long-stemmed gerbera to improve your chances. Perhaps, just once or twice, someone called you a pansy!!

Now how did they know what a pansy was? And how did you know? Because deep inside every one of us lives a little gnome eagerly desiring the great outdoors. To cultivate, propagate, rejuvenate, aerate, and compost!

So, what’s the strategy behind writing a gardening blog that usurps Boing Boing as Technorati’s favourite bedfellow?

problogger group writing project

  1. Start by telling everyone that you’re not a gardener. Works for me. Sure, I love to garden and I enjoy getting my hands dirty but I’m not a Master Gardener with letters behind my name that resemble the caution label on a bag of potting mix. I’m just passionate about my hobby. POINT #1 – YOU DON’T HAVE TO BE AN EXPERT.
  2. Live near the most isolated capital city in the world – Perth, Western Australia. Busselton, the thriving metropolis that I live in, has a population of nearly 25,000 and growing. When the world talks about gardening, Busselton’s reputation is not one that commands a heap of respect, in fact, I think they think we live under a heap! POINT #2 – IT DOESN’T MATTER WHERE YOU LIVE
  3. I tell it how it is. Some bloggers got upset when I mentioned that I actually HATED some plants. Apparently I should have said that I liked them less than others. Hate was a strong word to use. Nah, honestly I really hate these plants. Well it’s not the plants I hate, more the way some “gardeners” overuse them in their designs. POINT #3 – CALL A SPADE A “SPADE”
  4. Never be afraid of the big guns. Sure, they may have more qualifications, more experience, better networks, written more gardening books etc. But they’re not GOD! And who else is there to keep them honest? Pick your fights. Stay humble. Keep your sense of humour. POINT #4 – ALWAYS START A BRAWL WITH A GOLIATH
  5. Write interesting, informative and witty posts as regularly as you can. One day I’m gonna do that. POINT #5 – BE BORING AT YOUR OWN PERIL
  6. The more specific you become, the more potential readers you alienate. So stop posing with all that Latin stuff. Nobody speaks latin anymore, not even people from Latin, wherever that is. POINT #6 – KEEP IT REAL – SIMPLE!

But the best part of my strategy is to slowly heat my readers up like they’re being cajoled by global warming, and slowly but surely, they’ll come to enjoy my blog. They won’t admit it straight away. But after some time, a few rants and raves later, they’ll start to read a post once a week. Then once a day.

They’ll begin to comment. Then they will subscribe to my feed, link to my blog and then I’ll have them…HA, HA, HA (evil laughter sounds)…

And then Boing Boing will want me to link to them…But I won’t!!! (more evil laughter)


This is a post I wrote expressly for Problogger’s Group Writing Project.
If you would like to contribute, follow Darren’s guidelines and start posting.