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Are you prepared for the Compost Beetle Plague?

compost beetle plague
Forget the Bird Flu pandemic there is a more sinister and far reaching plague that is about to devastate western civilization.

In a news report just released, CSIRO spokesman Danny Grave suggested that an "...international problem was quickly gestating." The findings from a WHO inquiry into possible pandemic plagues has illustrated deep-seated concerns for the newly discovered Compost Beetle. This beetle, with it's rapid reproduction patterns (they can double their population every 24 hours in their peak mating season of Autumn to the end of Spring) is fast becoming a threat, not just nationally, but globally.

The Compost Beetle resembles the black beetle in body shape and colour with the addition of a few mottled white spots. Alas, where the black beetle is harmless to humans the Compost beetle has an excruciating bite emitting toxins into the body that will prove fatal within 20 mins of the bite. With no known cure patholigists are working around the clock trying to understand this mutated insect.

The US has reported 1836 cases around the country in the past 2 weeks, while here in Australia one unlucky gardener lost her life yesterday morning while tending her garden, and hundreds have been hospitalised.

Authorities are keen for anyone who composts to check their waste piles for signs of the beetle and report it immediately and have set up a quick call number (912).

Source: Enjoy your April 1st





Posted by Stuart on April 1, 2006 6:01 AM | | Check to Subscribe to this Comment:


Comments

Stu, that was quite a horrible joke! I was getting quite worried, and fortunately read the small print at the end of your post.

Posted by: Val | April 1, 2006 7:13 AM

Gotcha Val. It's always fun trying to see if you can come up with something good for April Fool's Day.

The question is "Can I get you next year?"

Posted by: Stu | April 1, 2006 4:32 PM

Right from the start I suspected an April Fool Joke and I was wondering just how bizarre it would all get. Nice try, Stuart. When I find some of these beetles I'll be sure to send you some - alive.

Posted by: Alice | April 2, 2006 3:55 PM

Just when I was thinking nice thoughts about you Stuart! You rotter! You really had me going there. Whew!
Good joke...not nice, but I'll forgive you since you gave me such a nice write-up :) I have a whole year to think up a way to get you next year.

Posted by: kerri | April 4, 2006 6:37 AM

I know it is past April Fool's Day but I couldn't help but comment.

My two young daughters noticed the picture of the beetle and called it a black ladybug. Is that what you used...a ladybug picture and then changed it into black? Anyway, that was a great bad prank to pull.

Posted by: Katina Mooneyham | April 6, 2006 6:19 AM

Katina, to be honest I can't remember the actual name of this bug. It is a real bug and catalogued by CSIRO. If you click the link it will take you to theire site but their catalogue is huge. Trying to find it again would be like finding a needle in a haystack.

Needless to say it neither had anything to do with compost and it certainly couldn't hurt you.

Posted by: Stuart | April 6, 2006 10:17 AM

Great reading, keep up the great posts.
Peace, JiggaDigga

Posted by: JiggaDigga | April 7, 2006 12:39 PM

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