Forget the Bird Flu pandemic there is a more sinister and far reaching plague that is about to devastate western civilization.
In a news report just released, CSIRO spokesman Danny Grave suggested that an “…international problem was quickly gestating.” The findings from a WHO inquiry into possible pandemic plagues has illustrated deep-seated concerns for the newly discovered Compost Beetle. This beetle, with it’s rapid reproduction patterns (they can double their population every 24 hours in their peak mating season of Autumn to the end of Spring) is fast becoming a threat, not just nationally, but globally.
The Compost Beetle resembles the black beetle in body shape and colour with the addition of a few mottled white spots. Alas, where the black beetle is harmless to humans the Compost beetle has an excruciating bite emitting toxins into the body that will prove fatal within 20 mins of the bite. With no known cure patholigists are working around the clock trying to understand this mutated insect.
The US has reported 1836 cases around the country in the past 2 weeks, while here in Australia one unlucky gardener lost her life yesterday morning while tending her garden, and hundreds have been hospitalised.
Authorities are keen for anyone who composts to check their waste piles for signs of the beetle and report it immediately and have set up a quick call number (912).
Source: Enjoy your April 1st