I always thought lawn snobs were other people!
You know the ones I’m talking about. If the lawn hasn’t been mown in the past 2 days, it’s getting a little too long; weeds never see the light of day and 40L bags of fertiliser are stacked in the shed in case of emergencies. They have edge trimmers, brushcutters, and a selection of mowers that can handle just about anything. And, they have signs on the verge warning you that this is a REGISTERED LAWN and should you fail to heed the warning and step onto their crisp blades of green – you will be prosecuted to the full extent of the law.
In my teen years, I always desired to drive my hotted up XF Falcon across those lawns leaving an indelible stamp of unnaproval on these lawn snobs.
Today, it’s different. I’m actually facing the realisation that I’m one of those hated snobs. No. I don’t have signs on the verge and I can wait a week before I feel compelled to bring the mower out. The problem is just that – I can’t bring my mower out because the engine died just before Christmas and it’s at the repair shop.
I had to HIRE a mower!! Yuk! It would be the same as having to wear someone else’s undies. There are things you just don’t do.
To make matters worse – it was a rotary mower. My poor blades of Sir Walter. It took massive chunks out of my grass taking great delight in ruining the lawn I’ve been tendering for the past 12 months. Did I mention I HATE rotary mowers? I have a new philosophy on life – if you don’t have a reel mower, use pea gravel.
OK. I admit it. I’m a lawn snob. Hi…my name’s Stuart and I haven’t cut my lawn for 2 days now…..